Food For Thought - A Blog-esque:

Today, is the third of the month. Each one of us, who are sane and want to remain sane perform deeds, often subconsciously, to cleanse our conscience, or hearts to alleviate the burdens that hold the weight on our pending sleep. In my case, its writing or music. I perform these sacred deeds to relieve the discomforts of my mind's current state. Since the thirds or the third day of the month holds a significance in my emotional capacity, I will perform my sacred sin, without exception. However, it needs to be pointed out, I think, that this will be the very last of texts that I write in the spirit of this day and what it meant to me. "Blogs," seem the be the trend these days, so I suppose I will seal the chronicles of my experience, with this particular spirit, with a Blog-esque writing. Most of the statements below are arbitrary, with no apparent meaning. "Food for thought," comes to mind. If you take the time to read this, dig deep into your souls and weigh highly on the scales of your personal ethics, morals, and conscience. The "demons" that you live with, are directly proportional to reflection that the mirror of yourself casts. I thank you for the ones who read this. Remember, things take time to sink in, and once found, the price for wisdom is pain and no matter how painful... the passing of this knowledge is absolutely a duty. Good luck.

Title: Food For Thought - A Blog-esque
Author: Faraz Ahmad
Written on: September 3rd, 2006.

The question is not whether we CAN move on, but rather, SHOULD we move on. With the surviving nature and mechanism of the human existence and the population reaching the bounds of 6.6 billion, the chances of finding, "bigger and better" look more than just probable. The concept to ponder though is, what if you have found the "biggest and the best" for YOU? The consequences of miscalculating the best one for you could indeed be the brutal strike on ones mental existence. Going back in time, and recalling what you once had is not always an option, in fact, most of the time, its not. So ask yourself, did you REALLY try your best to maintain possession of your most valuable possession? Did you cherish it; respect it, and offered enough gratitude for being in control of it? Nothing that holds a unique value can be acquired without a decent effort. So, did you REALLY stretch to the darkest corners of your ability to keep the one thing or person that reminded you how special you were? Did you realize the sight that laid on you, as if you were the sole human being left on Earth, by this blessing in this world for you? One other thing to realize is that you can never truly cloak your past, from your own inner being. Unless of course, you suffer a trauma to your memory. So if that is true, and believe me, all of us know in some parts of their hearts that it is indeed true, and then how come we try to lock our pasts into the elaborate mazes that the dungeons of our mind lay? Our pasts are what define us, whether its progression or depression, the answer to the present and future, lies in our past, and why shouldn't it? We cannot predict the future, and we need time to react to the present. Past is the only true knowledge we have of our own existence. So remember, your past will live with you, taunt you, hurt you, and will never disappear. This, I think, gives birth to "regrets," which from my experience, are one foes of the mind that you should do all in your power to prevent. The most suitable remedy is to see clearly what your present is, and make the choices that you know will pay off, despite what hardships they may accompany with. Indeed, this is the only way to remedy the demons known as, "regrets." Of course, we are mere humans, mostly ignorant of the purpose of life, often ignoring the long painful paths to be enlightened on the very subject of our presence. So we seek temporary relief. We play tricks on our mind and body, lying, deceiving, to forget long enough and get relief from what we missed out on. We feed our anger, unjustly, justifying the most absurd notions that are suppose to buy us the sleep that we all need, pointing fingers on our peers, surroundings, and even the divine forces. It's quite common NOT to look at our own discrepancy of effort and righteousness to achieve what we passed out on, in front of our own eyes. Truly, turning utterly blind on the ones who TRULY, DEEPLY, and MADLY loved us. Blaming them for your shortcomings, in an effort to save your own brittle existence. The fact is that you would have acquired such a permanent strength at the center of your existence with the VERY people you BLAMED to sleep well for the time being. Labeling such actions as, "sacrifice" we play the roles of martyrs that are one day to be recognized for their heroism. Do you know what happens to the ones who were supposed to give you your Medal of Honor? They forget about you as they live their own lives or submit to the ultimate fate of death, in the end, they are not the ones who are affected for your ultimate sacrifice and loss. They forget that they even made those choices for you, and that their words rang in your head to shape your pathways in the way they did. They make their decisions for you, claiming to be omnipotent on your case, putting their words down as the final rule, and basing those decisions on the mistakes THEY made in the first place. Simply speaking, they try to take their second chances, using YOUR life, and your life and what is left of it, serves them as the guinea pig that they required to make alternate choices of THEIR, now used up life. So be informed, make the choice of what's YOUR, "biggest and best" on YOUR own terms. Use your instinct and the morals that live in the warmth of your conscience. If you are wrong, you won't end up with the demon of regret, and blaming your demise on the ones who caused it for you. Believe me, the warmth and that attraction that your heart feels, exerting for what YOU thought was right for you is worth paying the price for, no matter what the result is. In the end, no one can predict the future, but you can definitely live life based education guesses that your wisdom yields. Of course to truly grasp the meaning of life, one must feel the pain of losing it, or coming extremely close to it. God forbid, any of you face that, but if someone you know has, its almost best to follow their advice, IF you believe in after life, and even otherwise! Lastly, never let the plague of ANGER come anywhere near your life. It's a disease that even blinds YOU from everything that is real and that should be seen. It casts a shadow on your vision to forever blind the benevolence that someone might yield to you, in the spirit of love and care. Anger's foggy aura blinds you from seeing the true company you enjoyed from someone in your darkest hours, and how without it, you would be destructed. Anger is just as malice as the influence of drugs or alcohol. It will truly hurt the ones you love, and there might be a point when the damage that you have caused, becomes, irreversible. Rightfully speaking, anger even makes you hurt yourself. Remember, your body is a temple; it is almost God's property that is merely LENT to you. So please, stop doing anything that hurts it, whether it is smoking, drinking or, any other abuse. All this could result from the plague, that is Anger. Of course you must take leap in the realms of spiritualism to truly grasp the authenticity of my last few sentences. So please, annihilate this ugly beast that could very well chew up the foundation of your judgment, which is so essential to making the decisions in our lives!

 

The above was arbitrary, and I'm quite aware of that. Sometimes, wisdom is right there in front of you, you just have to take the time to decode it, so that you may make your life better and truly understand the purpose of YOUR existence. Whatever wisdom I have experienced from my hardships and pains, I try to spread, and thus, I'm not the most popular one in a given group. However, like I said, to truly appreciate life, you must lose it or see it perish in front of you, which I have, both ways. In short, what my experience has taught me is that, in the end, it's the people you make the difference to and the people who make the difference to you, count. Your deeds, your care, and your love in this world, and not your job title, or the money in your bank account, or the size of your house. You will not understand this NOW, but then again, maybe you will. Perhaps it's too late for you, or maybe you can still clutch your life from the jaws of time. I did the best I could for you, I loved you as much as I could, and no matter whether or not you agree with it or not, you will see that my care did and would always have transcend time and would have served to be timeless. I will not always be around to tell you what's right or wrong, or save you from falling, before you ever did. In fact, you have chosen it to be that way. So, now that I'm gone, do the best you can with what I have given you. Don't let the ignorance of your anger blind you from the obvious tranquility that you have achieved in so many aspects of your life that you never would have otherwise. You have forgotten your words, most of them, but if you can, try and remember them so you can truly reflect on what you wanted to do and what you have done. Whatever you did, was obviously enough to keep the balling rolling for me, thus far, however, I hope you understand that your brutality upon the circumstances today will not let me carry on any further. Rest assured, just remember the good times, the true gain that your soul possesses now, because of me. I don't care what you do most of your life and in front of them all, but when you go in your room, with the darkness hugging you, try not to remember what I really was about and what I gave and delivered to you. At the very last, remember that most of us a flawed or blemished in our own ways. For some of us, our scars and marks are visible to the naked eye, and thus people act accordingly. However, others of us carry our imperfections, our scars, and ugliness BENEATH our beautiful appearances. Most of these people NEVER find out about them, because everyone around them worships their skin beauty and assures them their invincibility. These flaws come out later on, when our lives cross paths with newer people who might not turn out to be as understanding as some of them in the past, or the ones who proved to be your yes men and women. Flaws, that help you self-destruct yourself until you are completely have become a wreck or just a corpse. While this illness might be justified, it's not always rationalized, by MOST of us. So please, be aware of your own disease, do not be ashamed of it, deal with it, get comfortable with it, so that you may prevent it from causing deception to others around you, to the point where they leave you, and never truly grasp what your weakness and shortcoming was really about. There is enough injustice in this world to make all these flaws COMPLETELY justified within the person that reside with, and know in your heart, that I would have dealt with it forever and ever, but someone else might not. So please, face your weakness, don't be ashamed and gather strength and stability from it to prevent you from falling down again. With all that said, I leave you with peace and good will. I never meant to ever hurt you and maybe you will someday understand the depth of my words and my actions. I won't wait for that day to come, but as always, I have complete faith in you, that maybe, for your OWN sake, you will pull through. Finally, read between the lines and moments, the words that are invisible, but mean the most. With that said, let me end this blog of mine, cause you truly have enough food for thought.

 

And oh guys, I didn't need to write poetry this time because I found two pieces of art that almost perfectly voice my emotions. They are actually songs. The first is, "Cochise" by Audioslave, and the other one is, "I Alone" by Live, a Pennsylvania band. Great songs, listen to them if possible. Some of the ideas of this Blog are perfectly voiced in the lyrics of these songs. Anyway, thank you so so much for reading everything, I just hope that you might have learned something from my words, and if it even made an ounce of a difference in your life, then I think my job is done. Take care, and may God bless all of us!

- Faraz Ahmad.

:: Live - I Alone ::

Its easier not to be wise,
And measure these things by your brains.
I sank into eden with you,
Alone in the church by and by.

I'll read to you here, save your eyes,
You'll need them, your boat is at sea.
Your anchor is up, you've been swept away,
And the greatest of teachers wont hesitate,
To leave you there, by yourself,
Chained to fate.

I alone love you.
I alone tempt you.
I alone love you,
Fear is not the end of this!

Its easier not to be great,
And measure these things by your eyes.
We long to be here by his resolve,
Alone in the church by and by.

To cradle the baby in space,
And leave you there by yourself,
Chained to fate.

I alone love you.
I alone tempt you.
I alone love you,
Fear is not the end of this!

Oh, now, we took it back too far,
Only love can save us now, all these riddles that you burn.
All come running back to you, all these rhythms that you hide,
Only love can save us now, all these riddles that you burn.

I alone love you.
I alone tempt you.
I alone love you,
Fear is not the end of this!

:: Audioslave - Cochise ::

Well I've been watchin',
While you been coughin'.
I've been drinking life,
While you been nauseous.
And so I drink to health,
While you kill yourself.
And I got just one thing
That I can offer.

Go and save yourself,
Take it out on me.
Go and and save yourself,
Take it out on me, Yeah!

Well I'm not a martyr,
I'm not a prophet.
And I won't preach to you,
But heres a caution.
You better understand,
That I won't hold your hand.
But if it helps you mend,
Then I won't stop it!

Go and save yourself,
Take it out on me.
Go and save yourself,
Take it out on me, Yeah!

Go if you want,
And I'll see you at the bottom,
Where you crawl,
On my skin.
And put the blame on me,
So you don't feel a thing!

Go and save yourself,
Take it out on me.
Go and save yourself,
Take it out on me, Yeah!